Sometimes life can make you dizzy, but don't blame life for it.

New years resolutions after one week. I wanted to start them yesterday, but even failed on my promised first day. So I postponed my starting date... from today on I will post blogs more regularly. To be even more ambitious: every day. Some days a shorter entry than on other days. I just think it's necessary in a way. I trust in writing that it will provide outcomes in the end. Answers maybe. Can it really work the other way around. Can words I write tell me how I really feel, think, even wish... instead of me putting into words what I already know. Does the computerscreen write to me or do I write to the computerscreen?

Can I get to an answer by circling around trivial things? The surprise of a human size freezer in the (almost as cold as the freezer) veranda when I arrived back to Belgium. It immediately captured my attention. And everytime I pass it on my way to the bathroom my fantasy gets alive... this freezer must be here for a reason! And not only keeping my vegan burgers cold... My father always wished for a freezer-grave so his body would be guarded for his descendants. Is this freezer Leon's investment for the future? So far the horror. Don't blame me when you read a strange story in the newspaper of 2025.

Should I write about the cold? Everybody is speaking about it. The endless complaints and newsitems make it hollow. The vaccuum of 'snow', the coldest winter in 25'years', 'skating on the lakes', 'minus 20'. It's the featuring topic in the news for a week now, leaving the mass murder in Gaza in the background. Snow in Belgium for 20 minutes, dead bodies, crying and bleeding children for 5 minutes, the consequences in Belgium (burning synagogues, protesting muslims in the streets of the capital, the head of a Jewish organisation trying to say some words which don't really say anything. Don't blame him for it.

University. Suddenly no time anymore for breaking your head about the war in Gaza, snow and love (yes, I know I didn't write about that topic, but you know). Programming in Delphi, units, buttons and labels, we start slow and easy. Schedule changes, overlaps, bureau onderwijs- bureau-cracy, bureau-crazy. So far psychology. I just can't see the psychology through the trees anymore, maybe it's the snow. No, don't blame it on the snow.

I think I am an interviewer. No, I am not a writer, not a poet, not a student, not a cat, a tiger, a girl, woman, vegan or (bad) daughter, torturing terrible girlfriend or 'homesick' ex-exchange student from UBC. Primarly I am an interviewing. Listegning is my life. If I reflect on the things I enjoyed in my life so far, I realize I loved these long talks, hearing someones life while sitting in a cosy couch, trying to see through the screen, sharing pieces of self-explaining silence. "To have a good interview", the lecturer-journalist told today, "your bond need to resemble a romantic relationship. You touch upon personal, intimate things, put the other in a vulnerable position of disclosure, but at the same time you give him the best gifr a person can get: a listening ear. Real listening. Two ears. "The interviewee is the star", still quoting the lecturer, "the interviewer stays in the shadow". Nothing more than almost not present, just a breeze of air stimulating the voice of the other, just temporal, but real. Don't blame the interviewer for that.

Tomorrow.