minne

ik weet nu dat jij een stem hebt
die spreekt vanuit je buik
dat je luid kan zijn en bitter
dat ik je zachte kant misbruik


misschien had ik je eerder
een hand, een oor, een leven,
de vrije wil –als die bestaat-
het woord terug moeten geven


ik liet je in een toren wonen
jij liefde er onder mijn huid
nu stoom je me de trappen af
en zet mijn ‘maar’ eruit

Some words of Sadhana- digged up from my red Auroville notebook

Singing cups and ringing plates

The melody of pillows and pots

The unity a hut creates

Young minds facing their blind spots

A bare feet stroke the strawmat floor

divine moment in the make

a giggle when the silence breaks

puppy paws scratching the door

With the magic of a kitchen spoon

and some chocolate jiggery

we sweeten up our mornings, afternoons

and a dinner sugarfree

Cleaning our dishes in buckets of love

dynamized water, you better drink enough

the flavours of india, ideals in the core

2 weeks in Sadhana Forest

just make me wish for more

---------------

Fragile (when Max died)

Even paradise has thorny corners

No bubble is bullet proof

No island free of waves

Little paws seemed

Strong enough to carry a growing cub

They used to dance on morning melodies

And bark a call for us to wake up

I know natural order

Can grab your throat

That fate is as innocent as a broken dice

Still, I wish you swing your tail

Just around the corner

Of a puppy paradise

----

And the winner is...

India!

Some anonymous visitor from the region of Varanasi in Uttar Pradesh has managed to visit my website at least 166 (!) times in the last 28 days! This is a record! Congratulations! Strangely enough I can not think who this mysterious fan is, af I have been in quite some places in India, except Vaaranasi... Can you tell me who you are?

However, what I don't like is the considerable amount of advertisements that lately appeared in the comments section of my blogs. The first ones in foreign languages were kind of funny, but now it is just getting boring. If only they would at least tell something, but apparently it is just an empty summary of sex and porn related words, as if somebody who is just learning English portrays the newly learned vocabulary he discovered in the thematic dictionary under the section: porn&co. Who-ever this brave student of English is, can I please as you to find another place to show your advanced language skills? I have enough words to delete in my thesis, don't make me loose more time with deleting your braggary...

Thanks!

PS: to the visitor in Grunn: will you ever be ready to talk again? Let me know... in sign language is also valid, for example by visiting this website six times in a row.

The four and a half stages to Utopia

That's what happens: a thesis you worked on for hours the day before, just to find out the next day you saved it in temporary files and it now has disappeared forever. I finally understand how it feels, how he felt, how most people seem to feel standing in front of a story to be written, so many thoughts to be spread over a limited amount of words in a considerable amount of pages. I know how it feels to realize none of the formulations you use seem to be fair to the topic, to the informants, to the academic and personal world in general. You feel like a block, as if your words stand in the way of the Truth, whatever that might be. And it feels as if you better leave it all unsaid, as if you do it all more justice by letting it be without being analyzed or described or generalized in something called thesis. I know anthropology should avoid essentializing, and that this can be reached by focusing on your own experience, your interaction at a certain place with certain people, aware you didn't understand it all, ... reflexivity, reflexivity, reflext... and then I come with theories, because they sound professional, so I can pretend to have some social scientific insights. And it kills me, because I don't. I don't want to see people as social robots, neither do I want to reduce them to machines that have a similar respons if they are triggered by the same stimulus, conditioned, unconditioned, the evolutionary flirting game, whatever... Just 21 days before the deadline, this week revalued to 'lifeline'. If I would be a rat...