I can't stand it when people watch over my shoulder while I am writing. I don't know why, but it causes an instant writer's block in my head. No words want to be spotted while they are being in the proces of creation, as if they are scared to show their bare skin to the unknown light. Maybe that is why my writing lost its fluency, why my blog is relatively empty the last months, why I write and delete, write and delete, write and decide to leave it for a moment when I can say it all at once, in the right words, in the right order, in the voice that fits the situation.
Words are struggling with me. They try to put themselves in vague conceptual styles while ordering my fingers to write as a real social scientist. I fall in the trap of clichés of 'however', 'furthermore' and 'nevertheless'. I struggle back, but time falls short and deadlines give lazy words some meters ahead in the race towards graduation. Why does it feel as if I can't live fully, when words are blocked and leave my mind without oxygen? I can still scream 'Climate Change' in multiple languages, write it with question or exclamation mark, with a bit STOP-sign in front of it or make humans responsible for it in some anthropogenic phrasing. Seeing the whole picture would help... but it seems like that picture still needs to be taken. Why isn't the world made of vegan apple-vanilla cake. It would make everything so much tastier.
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